Why I Haven’t Been Writing

 Hello,

I know I haven’t been writing for a while and I want you to know why. Yes, I am still alive. Very much so. This is going to be a long letter and I would encourage you to read to the very end before you make any comments.

 

JUNE 2020:

I suffered two losses that shook the foundation of  a lot of things I trusted in/knew. I lost an uncle and a cousin very dear to me on the same day, in a very terrible accident. It made me question things. It made me question what I believed in. It made me question whether God (Elohim) was real. It was a hard time for me. I also found out that one of my role models was a full time scammer.

Before  this, I had felt God calling to me to his words. I didn’t answer. I would rather have done my own things or gone my own way. But after this accident I began to search for the truth. Was God real? Was I real? Did I even know what I real believed in. I tried to match the information I got in my search with so may that I didn’t even know existed.

 

NOTE: This may offend you but I would rather offend you to Christ than comfort you to the devil.

 

MYERS-BRIGGS- The first shred of falsehood.

I don’t know when or where my false idols/ideas began to fall but I know that God was working on me through it all. First, my false ‘Christian” role model fell as she was revealed to be a scammer and not even Christian at all. (This is why I don’t like Role Models).

Myers-Briggs personality typing system was comforting at that time. I really identified with it and i felt like it answered some of my existential questions. I had wanted to use it to type my characters. Second, I had found out that the root of Myers-Briggs typing system is anti-Christ. Carl Jug got his ideas from two ‘spirits’ who hoped to turn Christ back to the soothsaying god of the vine. Myers & Briggs decided to make Jung’s ideas popular because they thought it could help the world. The test is really popular  and used in schools and corporate organizations.

Scientifically, it has  lot of problems and is as accurate as a party trickster saying, “I know someone here has a headache.” which could apply to three or four individuals in the room. If i have ever encouraged you to use it. Please DON’T.  

There is nothing good about it. It is filled with half truths. And a half truth is still a lie.

 

DISHONESTY- Second strand of falsehood.

I used to pride myself in  honesty but I haven’t been honest. Not completely. More like telling Half truths again.

I used to believe that my writing mirrored life.

That I was telling the truth of reality as best as I understood it but this period of truth seeking showed that i wasn’t. I had not written about the most important truth  of all- Christ. In my book/stories, my characters claim to be ‘Christians’ and are ‘moral’ to an extent.

But God on whom I myself call upon in time of trouble. Christ himself was absent. He is not in the book. He isn’t there for Characters who supposedly believe on him and they never call him when they need him. The truths of a Christian life was not reflected in my Christian life. So I had been dishonest. I’m sorry or not being honest in my writing.

Please, forgive me.

 

HIS WILL- A breath of truth

During this time of truth seeking, God found me. I didn’t find him and he was and still is pruning off dead works off my life. You might think that since I’ve found God, I should just ‘chuck’ (infuse violently) him back into my books and churn out new chapters but it isn’t that simple.

Another thing God called my attention to was that His Will is the perfect Way. He has saved me from my own foolishness and bad actions more times than I will be willing to admit. So I have to wait and ask if it was his will for me to keep writing. I had to ask him if i was living in His will or if I had fallen far off this path.

I tried to know his ways and will more by reading my bible- Like really reading it. Not skimming over the way I would do at church. I read it with the passion of one seeking for truth. He revealed several things to me that were wrong about my way of worship and serving him. He has been teaching me. I haven’t gotten a ‘don’t write’ from him but what I will write from henceforth will be different because my pen will only move as my King wishes.

I am not perfect. I still make mistakes. Lots of them but it is His grace that keeps me. Jesus is real. He is the ONLY way.

 

WILL I STILL WRITE?

Probably but only as He Wills. 

Thank you for reading. May the grace of Jesus be with you. Amen.

 

CONCLUSION

If you’ve made it this far, I want to encourage you  and advise you to submit your life to Him. The darkness and deception in this world is worse than you think and it will get worse. There is more information than  can cover in this letter but this is it for now.

If you are like I was and you didn’t have a relationship with him (that is you go to church. You do all that is necessary and read your bible without asking for and following in His will and ways or make time out to fellowship with Him alone) I’d encourage you to start right this moment.  Read his words and  dwell with him. The time is indeed short.

Hell is real (Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise)

Jesus is real and He is the ONLY way.

If you decide that you don’t want to be my friend anymore or that you don’t want to read my books anymore, that’s okay. But seek truth. It will set you free.